


Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You)

by Kedreeva



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 20:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13644279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kedreeva/pseuds/Kedreeva
Summary: Jem Walker grieves the loss of her brother, Kieren.





	Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You)

            Anger didn’t begin to cover what she felt as she watched them lower his pale, wooden casket into the ground. It was fury, cold and raging and terrible, burning out everything inside of her. These were flames she didn’t want to douse; she fanned them with every desperate  _how could he leave me_  and  _it’s not fair_ that rattled around the empty spaces he’d left behind.

            She stayed only until the earth being piled atop of him had obscured her view completely. Behind her, their mother called her name, but Jem couldn’t bring herself to even slow down. She didn’t want to be there anymore, didn’t want to hear the shovels, didn’t want to be there for  _him_  if he didn’t want to stay for  _her_.

            It was too far from the graveyard to her house to stomp the whole way, although she made the effort out of sheer spite. All of the pain and rage swelled with every footfall until she was practically bursting with it by the time she hit the front door.

            Her hands were shaking almost too badly to turn the key to Kieren’s room when she got there. The cry that ripped from her throat as she banged her fist against the wood, knowing he wouldn’t answer, was almost inhuman.

            “ _Asshole_!” she shouted, voice raw and ragged around the edges. He was beyond hearing, but it felt good to let go of some of the pressure. There wasn’t anywhere else for it to go without him listening. _  
_

The key clicked, and Jem stumbled through the entryway. Her breath snagged in her throat as she raked her gaze over Kieren’s room, taking in the paintings and the decorations that screamed his personality at her louder than any eulogy could have. He was everywhere around her, and he was gone, had left her, abandoned her.

            If he was so intent on leaving, then he should be  _gone,_  she thought, leaving the open door behind her as she crossed angrily to his desk. The fury burned bright inside of her as she seized the first paper she came to, not even looking at what it was before tearing it in two with guttural noise.

            She would chase him out, make him leave, forget he ever existed. Burn out the memories and fill in that gaping, aching wound he’d left with the ashes of what they had been. _  
_

She reached out for the next painting, and froze.

            It was her.

            It was her own face staring back from Kieren’s desk, the corners of her eyes crinkled, her lips turned up in the half-smile that said  _you’re ridiculous, you know_.

            She let out a breath, touching her fingers softly to the surface of the painting. It was new, one she’d never seen before, the last portrait he’d made before he died.

            As she lifted the picture from the desk, she felt the flames within her dying, a burned out shell left in their wake. Her calves hit the edge of his bed and she could hardly see the image any more through the tears in her eyes.

            “Why did you leave me?” she whispered, throat closing up on the words. “Why didn’t you  _say something?”_

            She closed her eyes and laid back on his bed, the painting still clasped in her hands, the fading scent of him all around her, and began to cry.


End file.
